Friday, April 19, 2013

The Stop Point

I have been thinking quite a bit later about when do we stop growing internally. When do we emotionally stop developing? Is there a stopping point that all of us reach and then that is it? or does some act or thought stop us?
I know from the many years of self development I have done on myself that we have the capacity to learn and to stop repeating patterns of negative self behaviour and to 'grow up' BUT it has come to my attention that there are parts of my inner psychology that seem to remain 'fixed' in time. As I age I find it interesting and frustrating that aspects of myself never seem to grow. Take my body and my weight, in my mind I am 'fixated' on a weight that I was half a life time ago and in my current time frame my body is not interested in being that weight. Now does that change my internal stop point? No it just makes me very frustrated. I can visualise and set for myself another weight point but their is this little nagging voice that always chastises me that I have set the scales to low for myself. Common sense and a realistic look at myself and my achievable results does not seem to change or still ( long term) that voice. Also there is an aspect of myself that seems to think my body should be as it was in my 20's - physically- I am some times shocked when I see myself in the mirror because I see the real me looking back at me, I seem to think at that point that I am again still in my 20's. Logic does not seem to apply to this internal set point of mine.
Maybe we need this set point, maybe this is where we keep going to get the energy to 'keep going' in our current lives. Maybe this is where the magic is. Where we can tell ourselves that it is never to late or that we are never to old to do or achieve or believe. Maybe there is a separate part of our selves that we carry with us to keep the spark of life going when we are feeling down or in too much pain or feeling displaced or lost. Maybe we need to access that more youthful aspect of ourselves to keep from crossing over to being a syndical S.O.B.  or a bitter old hag; maybe the reminder of that softer youth and the dreamer inside is a wake up call or a reminder that most things you want are possible to achieve, if that is what you really want.
The human mind is a fascinating place and I believe that it has far more 'levels' to it than we have discovered so far and I look forward to exploring mine and hoping to came to some understanding as to why I have this inner point of 'stopping' around who I think I am verses who I currently am.
I believe we are all here to learn and to transcend our difficulties to become the 'whole person' we can be, so onwards and upwards I continue to go.

" Life is an adventure full of everything our minds belief are possible"

Have a great day
Debra Rae

Saturday, March 23, 2013

No and Can't

How often do you say NO to yourself or tell yourself that you CAN'T do something?
Is it a quick response? or is it something you put thought into?
For most of us a NO and I CAN'T is a rapid word voiced, we have programmed ourselves through the years to automatically place limits around ourselves.
We don't take the time to ask ourselves a few questions:

1. Why am I saying NO or I CAN'T

2. Do I really not want to do this
3. Is this a decision coming from fear
4. Is this an old aspect of myself speaking or is this the current me.
I am not saying that we should not voice a NO or CAN'T
what I am saying is that we often need to define for ourselves if it is a common response whether or not it is what we want or need in our current physical and mental space.
We can emotionally be trapped in a time when we used these words as a protection or because we truly believed we could not do or be certain  thing, and over time it has become an ingrained habit for us, and that is where the danger lies. By never taking the time to define in your NOW why you are saying no or can't, then you cannot be sure as to whether this is what you really want or if it is just your innate inner child raising it's head and leading you around in automatic emotional mode.
If you see yourself as being that person who is living on automatic, give yourself a gift. A gift of being true to who you are NOW, not the child or wounded adult. Make a decision by taking a few minutes to ask the above questions and then know that if you then say NO or Can't then it is coming from your current truth. Be empowered. Be strong in your resolve. Turn of the automatic control.

Debra Rae

Thursday, March 14, 2013


I have found that the more I explore the concepts of Universal Energy the more I am influenced physically by them. The last few weeks I have felt really heavy and drained and incapable of being creative. Luckily for me one of my closest friends is a Astrology wizard and can tell me what is in my planetary chart. Normally I can then gather a clearer picture of why things are happening. Then I can gather my energy reserves and put a action plan in place.
For me knowledge is power and enables me to work through outside influences to re-create the balance I need to get through what is happening or to put up temporarily band aids that stay in place until the energy has shifted.
I love the acronym K.I.S.S.
Keep It Simple Stupid.
During these intense energy times this is the best advise I can give myself.
Don't over extend physically or mentally
Don't go into self destruction mode
Don't think this is lasting
And finally be gentle and loving to myself.
Having friends you can talk to in moments of honesty and truth without being enabled to stay in your 'shit' is so important for moving forward. Obstacles are often placed in our ways to teach us and to determine if we are on the right track in life. I like to think that obstacles are 'friendly' things ( I often have to work through these obstacles before I emotionally get to that space.)  
But I have long ago determined that having a positive emotional attitude is one of my greatest abilities and that being stuck feeling sorry for ones self is not going to be a great help long term. When I find myself in those darker times K.I.S.S. helps me move around/up/through to find that light that will always be present and available if you look for it.
If you are in moments of turmoil, don't get trapped in the isolation or sadness of those moments and don't buy into the drama, create a path to balance once again by having your own K.I.S.S. plan in place.
Life is here to be lived, and to be lived with all of its aspects being experienced. How can we understand (emotionally) an easy life if no hardships have touched us? I believe there are many shades of colours in life that touch us and help us form and grow and I embrace them freely as they are one of the foundations that help me mature and hopefully grow into the 'wise woman' I wish to be.
Love and Joy

Debra Rae

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Bubble Wrapping

I was listening to the news today and there was a discussion of the effects of bullying. There had been a study done somewhere and the results where that the scars of being bullied can stay with you well into adulthood or even forever. My first thought was a sarcastic 'really' that needed a study to ascertain.
Now I am not writing to talk about the need we seem to have to do endless studies that inform us of things most of us already no. What got my spider sensors tingling was more of a gut feeling of 'shit' not another reason to baby this generation. Now  please understand I despise bullying in any form, and I have always stepped up whenever I have either experienced it or seen it being implemented BUT I have a issue with not giving tools to teach internal and emotional fortitude.
Do we not need to teach strength of character and stop our incessant need to keep our kids wrapped in bubble wrap. Is it working? Suicides within the teenage population is on the rise and with the internet and other technologies the use of bullying is at a all time high. Schools have a no tolerance rule and acceptance of diversity is practiced. Where are we going wrong?
My thought is a simple one, Stop the babying! Stop expecting all teens to be the same and stop imposing unrealistic guide lines around behaviours and for heaven sake toughen up. We the adults need to toughen up and we need to teach resilience to our youth, not so they become robotic but so they can have tools to stand up and say enough and feel great about it. So that they understand that they are the stronger ones and that the bullies are the weak and pathetic ones. We cannot out race bullying, it follows us; those who bully us as kids bully as adults and teach their own kids to be either bullies or victims and the cycle goes on and on.
We are creating a bubble wrapped generation weather out of guilt because their are so many families where both work or because single parenting is on the rise or for a myriad of other reasons, but we need to stop. It is not working. Do I have a magic wand -yes- but not the spell to create those changes.
We seem to be so involved with keeping every one happy but it seems to me only a select few are and the rest of us have to be accepting or else. The minority wins. Kids and adults need to develop a tougher outer skin and stop being such a bunch of whiners. Harsh yes but that is my thoughts on the subject, many will not agree but that is still the great thing about being in a country where freedom of voice and thoughts have yet to be 'desensitised'  and 'neutralised' for the betterment of the all!

Just my thoughts and my rant
Debra Rae

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Adaptation and transformation

When life kicks you, do you lie down and close off or do you get back up stronger and wiser?
I was always of the opinion that the roadblocks and hardships placed in my path where put there for me to learn from and once I had I was a stronger and wiser woman.
We as human beings are blessed with many things, two being the ability to adapt and also to transform.
Adaptation is a powerful tool. Having the mindset to go with the flow and to learn from the knocks or blocks being placed in your way and rising up instead of being down trodden, has helped transform our planet through out our history.
Learning from our lessons and transforming ourselves to be better, stronger, wiser is an amazing gift we all possess but not everyone chooses to use.
Have you fortified your personal arsenal with these and other tools?
Are you a survivor or a victim?
We are incredibly lucky because regardless of our pasts at any time we can choose to take a stand and create a personal change within ourselves. We can go from being passive or being victimised to taking back our own power and taking strength from that to transform ourselves into being that person who we have admired who stands up and stands firm for what they believe in and shouts out loudly "enough"!
I believe that it is important to die with personal dignity intact than to live in continual shame. In another word I would rather stand for what I believe in than be bullied into living in silence as that would eat me up from inside and I would rather not be turned into a shadow of who I am. My internal warrior would not allow me to be a passive participant in my own life or in my part of this world.
Ask yourself " Am I adaptable to change and circumstance?" and also " Do I transform myself with each lesson learnt?"
Are you afraid to adapt and change or is it a natural thing for you to do?
I am a great believer in meditation and inner contemplation as I think being a fluid being allowing constant growth is part of my personal journey and meditation is a great tool to help give me both focus and also direction and understanding.
Take time to add this tool into your life as it will aid you in stilling the internal naysayers we all possess and help you in times when adaptation is needed in your life.

Affirm to yourself " I am fluid and open to adapting to my world and transforming myself as needed, with easy and grace"

See yourself as a butterfly. Going within to your cocoon (internal reflection) coming out as a moth ( learning new tools) and turning into a vibrant butterfly(mastering those tools) and flying free.

Have a vibrant and joyous day.
Debra Rae

Thursday, January 24, 2013


How are YOU? Do you take the time too get in touch with YOURSELF?
Or are you so busy that the last person on your list is YOU.
I would encourage you to take a deep breath this year and take a personal assessment of yourself and your life.
Are you happy? Or is that a strange question for you to think about? Have you ever thought about it at all? Did you automatically say yes or no, without having to think about it. Is your answer true or just an instinctual response.
Take a deep breath, grab a pen and paper and ask yourself now
What is happiness, take the time to write down your response/s.
Are you living what you wrote down?
Are you feeling what you wrote down?
The first time I really thought about the concept of happiness as an adult I really had to take time to think about what it meant to me in my 'now'. I had thoughts around what it meant to me to be happy and I also had feelings around what that felt like, but in reality I was living a busy life with a busy family to look after and I had forgotten along the way to actually think about how I was feeling about this life I had created. In this I would think I am very much like many other people, we just get on with it and accept to a degree that this is what life is meant to be as an adult with responsibilities.
It actually came as a shock to me, when I took the time to think about it(happiness) that I was not living in a happy place. Now do not get me wrong I had a great life but I had long ago put myself in last place in my family chain.
Even more surprising was that I really had no idea what it meant for me to experience an intimate connection to the feelings of what 'happy' was. I would say during this period, that 'this' made me happy or 'that' made me happy. But this and that was an external experience. It was also a revelation to me that after much though and writing I had to conclude that my happiness was something I and I alone had control over, no one else could MAKE me happy.
On my journey to happiness self discovery I realised that truly it is a thought process. If I wish to be happy then I need to think and feel happy! It has nothing to do with where I live or what I have or don't have, it truly is about how I think and feel about myself at that period in time.
It is not surprising I lost my way on the happiness trail because if I ever think back on it, as a child you just where - happy- and as a teenager and young adult I learnt to attach my happiness to things or to other people or their needs.
Have you lost you way as well? Are you only happy if your relationship is great or work is going well?
Take the time NOW to reattach to your own inner self, open up your heart and mind to the vast possibilities of living in happiness regardless of what your external reality is. Take back the control of your happiness.
Be a happiness beacon! Smile with your heart/mind and soul. Increase your happiness vibration consciously and watch the magical change within you as the little things that use to erode at you disappear-poof!

"I am a loving vibrant being of happiness, open to receiving and giving

Sunday, January 20, 2013


So we have reached the half way mark of January, How are you doing? Are you still excited about the promises you made to yourself at the beginning of the New Year or have you slowly started to go back into your old habits?
If it is the first - good for you
If it is the second - get a grip!
If the commitment you made to yourself is important and do-able, please take this time to refocus and do not quit.
It is vital that you start keeping the promises you make to yourself. It is so easy to get lost in our own journeys, so easy to be too busy or too tired or the myriad of excuses we give ourselves for why we stop doing what we know we either should or must do to achieve the dream we have for ourselves. I often have that evil inner voice of mine, that sits in judgement and knows all of the emotional boxes to open, show itself, and always when I have promised to create changes for MY betterment.  I also over the years have gathered the tools to stop it from being around for long, but I am aware of the power it - the subconscious sabotage that plays havoc in all of our brains.
Keep your promises you make to yourself. Keep them small and do-able and bask in the glory of a win over your saboteur, those small wins will soon mount up to the larger victories you want. It also gives you an internal and mental strength that tells you - I am a winner.
So if you have been lagging on those commitments you made a few weeks ago, NOW is the time to recommit and maybe to redefine or simplify that list you made.
"I am the success I see in others"
Have a great year with that affirmation in your mind.

Just a Thought
Debra Rae