I find it unsettling that parents of young children seem to view their offspring as small adults or equals. Have I missed out on that memo? the one that states that your children can participate in adult decision making or better yet make the rules that govern both them and others around them. I mean it is not like young children have underdeveloped brains or emotions and actually need to be taught. I find it incredible that people learn more about raising a pet that they do to raising a child. There seems to be a lacking of any common sense bustling around, it takes more than food and shelter too bringing up a child.
The concept of applying boundaries, having rules and actually being a disciplinarian - heavens above- that means you have to be present constantly in your child's life- now that does not seem to be something many parents at this time seem capable of. Harsh, yes, but that is how I am seeing it. We are in a time where children are being handed pills for ADD and Autism is at the highest level in our history, and behavioural problems are through the roof. I do not believe that parenting issues are the route of all of the problems we are seeing BUT I do believe it is a participant.
I am trained in Early Childhood development and also have been educated as a councillor on top I am a mother and so I do no from experience what I am talking about around bringing up children. It seems that kids are being allowed to self regulate their behaviours and their diets and that boundaries are not present. Parents are busy I get that, I was and so was my husband But you have to make your child a priority. That at times means having and sticking to rules and having expectations that your child will listen and do what you ask of them.
Now I no you are thinking I am down of parents - you would be wrong- I am down on the system that we are living our lives to. We are forced because of the economy to have to have both parents in the workforce often working more than one job. Food, gas, cars and shelter currently cost more than ever before and most people are considered to be in the working poor or a couple of pay cheques away from the streets. For alot of people family support is either not there or too far away to be of benefit. Child care is marginal in most countries in the fact that it is usually a baby sister who places the child in front of a T.V. or computer or a under paid over worked trained care provider who is tired. Values and discipline are deemed old fashion or abuse. The irony of that is that child porn and sexual abuse is on the rise and parents who care and set boundaries are often judged and ridiculed today as bad parents.
What I want to know is when did we vote in the government to be the provider of how we bring up our children. Really the schools are a mess. the government is not working properly and the child protective services are a laugh. Now if they the government wanted to tell big business to stop poisoning our children and us by putting who knows what in our foods then great. If they wanted to enforce strong sentencing against those who have put the family of today in a financial nightmare, I am all for it. But I am a dreamer.
Parents today in alot of ways are blind. They have no idea on how to raise a child because they where never taught, either because of lack of parents or because of the break down in the family unit and the failure of society as a whole to fill the void. Why are their not common sense parenting classes provided free to anyone having a child, why is not the reality of having a baby taught in every class in high school. Why is not free child care provided and good wages given so that parents do not have to work many jobs for the basics needed. Why do we not have loving proactive non judgmental but FIRM rules out there that make sense and allow children the freedom of being a child with no real worries and understanding that rules are their for their safety and that teachers and parents and adults that give respect earn respect back. That it is OK for them-the child-to push the boundaries and rules but no is no for a good reason and their are real consequences to not listening and doing.
We - society- need to rethink, re look and redo this current system because in most cases it is not working and we are letting a overindulged,under disciplined and selfish generation full of prescribed drugs and behaviours lose- not a great picture but one that we can change if we care to.
