I have been thinking quite a bit later about when do we stop growing internally. When do we emotionally stop developing? Is there a stopping point that all of us reach and then that is it? or does some act or thought stop us?
I know from the many years of self development I have done on myself that we have the capacity to learn and to stop repeating patterns of negative self behaviour and to 'grow up' BUT it has come to my attention that there are parts of my inner psychology that seem to remain 'fixed' in time. As I age I find it interesting and frustrating that aspects of myself never seem to grow. Take my body and my weight, in my mind I am 'fixated' on a weight that I was half a life time ago and in my current time frame my body is not interested in being that weight. Now does that change my internal stop point? No it just makes me very frustrated. I can visualise and set for myself another weight point but their is this little nagging voice that always chastises me that I have set the scales to low for myself. Common sense and a realistic look at myself and my achievable results does not seem to change or still ( long term) that voice. Also there is an aspect of myself that seems to think my body should be as it was in my 20's - physically- I am some times shocked when I see myself in the mirror because I see the real me looking back at me, I seem to think at that point that I am again still in my 20's. Logic does not seem to apply to this internal set point of mine.
Maybe we need this set point, maybe this is where we keep going to get the energy to 'keep going' in our current lives. Maybe this is where the magic is. Where we can tell ourselves that it is never to late or that we are never to old to do or achieve or believe. Maybe there is a separate part of our selves that we carry with us to keep the spark of life going when we are feeling down or in too much pain or feeling displaced or lost. Maybe we need to access that more youthful aspect of ourselves to keep from crossing over to being a syndical S.O.B. or a bitter old hag; maybe the reminder of that softer youth and the dreamer inside is a wake up call or a reminder that most things you want are possible to achieve, if that is what you really want.
The human mind is a fascinating place and I believe that it has far more 'levels' to it than we have discovered so far and I look forward to exploring mine and hoping to came to some understanding as to why I have this inner point of 'stopping' around who I think I am verses who I currently am.
I believe we are all here to learn and to transcend our difficulties to become the 'whole person' we can be, so onwards and upwards I continue to go.
" Life is an adventure full of everything our minds belief are possible"
Have a great day
Namaste
Debra Rae
