Children

I consider myself to be so lucky in many areas of my life; but I am blessed many times over with my kids. They are all adults now and are all leading proactive lives, in great relationships and making a positive statement in their worlds plus they phone their mother because they want to! And I like them as people.
I look back at the time and energy that both my husband and I put into raising our kids and see the rewards for the considerable effort and expense and doing without that was our reality. We where firm believers in being around and there to raise our kids, we both took jobs that did not necessarily reward our bottom line but gave us time with our family. I remember that we where often in the few parents category that drove our kids and other kids to games and we where in the few that where the cheering club section.
That was a choice we made as parents, that if one could not be there the other one would be. I do not believe our kids suffered- so at times they could not have the best of the current shoe or clothing But they never missed out and certainly learnt money is earned and not a magical thing that just appears and sales are our friends. But our house was the meeting ground and feeding ground lol for most of there friends and life was not boring. I am a rule person and have stood my ground and had face to face fights with all my kids, I feel anything worth doing is worth doing well and the energy required to stand my ground has paid off as I see the adults they have become.
Love and hugs and kisses were also standard fare as well and still are. I believe teaching kids that there are non-sexual touches in hugs and kisses is extremely important. My degree was as a MotherCraft Nurse and I learnt and dealt with children from birth to 6 in many settings and have dealt with both failure to thrive through non touch to sexual abused and physical/emotional abused children - all need healing touch and positive role modelling that display this. I stopped teaching pre-school when the government decided that touch of any type was not permitted - and I look at a lot of the current issues society is facing and the school system has to handle and I am not surprised. We have boundaries that we should not have in some areas and no boundaries in areas we should have. In strong language we are fucking up big time. We need to reassess our core beliefs around the family unit and bring back some basic values and stick to them -please- because otherwise we as a society is heading for big trouble.
My thought is if you do not want to have to committee for at least 18 years and put yourself at the back of your life for periods of time and do what is needed to be their for your children, do not have them, or put off having them until they can be a priority. Kids are not a accessory or a narcissistic reflection of you and your partner or a means to a end. We as a society need to grow up and stop our selfish self indulges mentality and place a value on kids and family once again.
   Now to all of those who do and do and try their best in raising their families in harsh conditions all my blessing and thoughts are with you - keep it up and hopefully you will have the time to look back and see your sacrifices are worth it. The continued love and respect of your adult children and the possibilities of grandchildren makes it well worth while.
 I do think that we as a whole society should be there as a helping hand- I just do not know what that should look like in the current environment we live in. But I do know, as my parents and their parents knew, kids are our futures and the worlds future, so we need to do the best job we are capable of to see that they have the love and the tools to be great adults.


Just a thought and a verbal tribute to my great kids Jordana,Jared and Rebekka

Debra Rae

Dream Please

Where are you in your life? Are you doing or being who you thought you would be? or have you set aside your dreams and hopes for a day to day reality that if you stopped to look at fully, you would be amazed that THIS is your life. For most of us we have a general idea of what we want in our life's - this is normally thought about as a teen with big ideas and dreams and within our twenties we spend energy creating that picture; then as time and relationships and family and life happens those dreams are often forgotten or laid aside because of our responsibilities. Very few of us live out our potentials - this is a fact not a judgement.We get caught up in our jobs,families ect and to a degree that is how it should be BUT we need to remember to take time to allow our self to DREAM. To get out of our self imposed ruts and lift ourselves up. We may not have the time or resources to fully realise our dreams BUT we can choose to keep believing in them and to take some portions of them and apply them now.
We also have to keep practicing the idea of dreaming and of believing in ourselves so we can create aspects of that as we age. We need to have things to look forward to as we age, it may not be the dream of  our youth but it will be an aspect of it.
Dream big and then you will never be dissappointed because in reality you will achieve parts or a better version of that dream.
Dreams cost you nothing but not dreaming does, it leads to bitterness and malcontentment. Give yourself permission to create and make your dreams come true.

Just a thought
Debra Rae

LIFE

LIFE TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER TODAY
AND ASKED ME IF I WANTED IT TO STAY
NOW AS YOU WOULD THINK THIS SURPRISED ME
WHY YES, I ANSWERED
THEN START LIVING, WAS THE REPLY
I AM. I ARGUED
A CHILLING LAUGH WAS THE RESPONSE
TELL ME, LIFE ASKED ME, WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME YOU DID ANY THING NEW
ANY THING THAT PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE
ANYTHING THAT CHALLENGED
 CHANGE UP YOUR ROUTINES
AND ALLOWED YOUR GREATNESS TO SHINE
ARE YOU LIVING OR JUST GOING THROUGH
THE PACES WAITING FOR DEATH TO TAP YOU
ON YOUR SHOULDER AND TAKE YOU
I THOUGHT ON WHAT WAS SAID
AND MADE THE REALISATION  THAT TRUTH HAD
BEEN SPOKEN
TEARS WELLED IN MY EYES AT ALL OF THAT LOST
TIME AND WRONG CHOICES
LIFE GAVE A HUFF AND GAVE ME A SHAKE
PITY WILL GET YOU NO WHERE
TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY AND LIVE
HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT
TAKE A CHANCE ON YOURSELF
AND BE EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO
BE FREE OF YOUR OWN CHAINS THAT HOLD
YOU CAPTIVE
BE FREE AND FLY
OR GIVE UP AND DIE
THE CHOICE IS YOURS IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN
SO CHOOSE WISELY BECAUSE LIFE WILL NOT
ALWAYS BE THERE TO TAP YOU ON THE SHOULDER
TO GIVE YOU A HEADS UP AND WATCH YOUR BACK
BE THE YOU .....YOU NEED TO BE
BEFORE IT IS TO LATE AND ONLY DEATH AND REGRET
IS ALL THAT IS LEFT!

Victim or Victor

I have always felt that the only difference between playing the victim and being the victor, is your attitude. I believe it is a choice. You can allow the problem/demon/situation or person to continue to have sway over YOUR thoughts/feelings and actions OR you can take control and take actions to become the one who decides when/how or why you do something; in another word you are the victor.
 I have had quiet a few buttons pushed lately either from shows I have watched or from books I have read because the central theme seems to have been - it is ok to be the victim- you will be the hero of the hour. Really? In a celebrity interview the male actor played the role of victim to attempt to make the audience sympathetic of him because he had cheated on and divorced his wife. Now in some regards I believe that he is really comfortable offering that role up because it serves him well, it is his emotional back up to excuse his bad behaviour. Do I believe he really is a victim - no - I would say that when he can not get his own way he brings out this aspect of himself to force others into behaviours that suit him well.
   What in my mind separates his behaviour to other victims is that he is well aware of what he is doing and why and so manipulates others with his actions; taking him into the role of victorizer. I think there are two main areas of the victim; the first are the newbie, who has yet dealt with the why/how or what but has a window of opportunity to deal and cross over into survivor and victor. The second is the "professional victim" the person who does not want to deal or use any tools to become stronger, they find a purpose in holding onto why they are the victim and often manipulate others to feel sorry for them.
   Harsh/judgemental- I will hold my hand up high to both those thoughts. I really,really get tired of the victim game played. Is it not one of our roles in this life to grow and become better and stronger. Are we not taught to forgive and move forward. It is not only individuals who perform the roles of victim and victor, so do countries,religions and organizations.
  If we are to grow and change we have to take of our blinders and look at the real in reality. To create healing we have to stop being the victim and assume our personal control and rise up as our own Phoenix and burn away the layers of illusion and become the strength and victor in our own growth as a person/country and universe.
  Just my thoughts, shared because I do care!


Blessings Be
Debra Rae