Being Me

I find that there are many blessings to being in your fifties. For me it was the return of my Australian-ism's. After spending almost half my adult life in Canada where I had to modify my outspoken bluntness because it was viewed as rude or offensive and my affectionate nature (love to hug and touch people) which was perceived as being sexual or again offensive; it was a relief to wake up one morning and have the realisation that "Life is to short to be who you are not". I am proudly Australian as well as a Canadian through choice, but I was choosing to be only Canadian because it was the easier of things to do to 'fit in'. How I dislike that term! Do not say this or that do not be this or that. I actually find it funny that most new immigrants are encouraged to keep their heritage in this the country of integrations, but those of us who are white and English speaking are not given that same privilege. Now I know in someway, someone will take that as me being racist. I say to you this is HOW I FOUND IT TO BE, this is my REALITY
and quite frankly I am F***ing tired of being told what and how to say what is on my mind because someone else may be offended. WHAT ABOUT ME! Am I not entitled as it seems everyone else of other origin is to have my heritage and  feelings honored.
When I turned 50, I also re-connected with myself. Spiritual, physically and emotionally. I came to the realisation that I am entitled to be ME. Good, bad or ugly. It is ironic that Canada achieved what my parents could not, the ability to silence me in a lot of ways. No longer and no more is my motto now. I am who I am, whether you like it or not really does not concern me anymore because having my voice and speaking my truth is a really important part of who I am. Allowing myself to be open and affectionate is also who I am. I now do not allow the judgement holders the ability to control me any longer. I am lucky that I now am in the position that I do not need the approval of a employer or any other system to tell me how or who I should be. Amazing the cycle's we can repeat without us realising it. I spent a lot of time us a child fighting for my voice and my nature and then moved to another country and culture that did just that stopped both in such a insidious way that I did not even realise how much it had happened until I went back to Australia after 13 years of being away. I was so polite in comparison to every one else, so worried about offending with a blunt or truthful statement. But at the same time I realised I had lost that sense of freedom and joy of just being honest and being me. Now please, I am not being a downer on Canada, I love this country it is an amazing place. This is about the power of being a new-be  and trying to fit in, by not placing enough importance on being You. My fifties are my rediscovery times, the relief of being me times, the who cares what others thinks time, my get of the pot and be and do times. My realisation that most likely half my life is over, so what am I waiting for, who am I waiting for. Embracing who you are with an open heart and mind is so freeing I have to wonder why I allowed myself to be side tracked away from what my much younger self fought for. Maybe it was so that when I came full circle I would do so with maturity to appreciate those aspects of myself, to not take them for granted and to except it is finally great to be ME.
Take a moment and ask yourself, "Am I being me. Am I holding back and if so why" and if you are please do yourself a favour and release the leash and embrace you. You are a beautiful reflection of the creator, foibles and all.


Just a thought
Love and light
Debra Rae