Victim or Victor

I have always felt that the only difference between playing the victim and being the victor, is your attitude. I believe it is a choice. You can allow the problem/demon/situation or person to continue to have sway over YOUR thoughts/feelings and actions OR you can take control and take actions to become the one who decides when/how or why you do something; in another word you are the victor.
 I have had quiet a few buttons pushed lately either from shows I have watched or from books I have read because the central theme seems to have been - it is ok to be the victim- you will be the hero of the hour. Really? In a celebrity interview the male actor played the role of victim to attempt to make the audience sympathetic of him because he had cheated on and divorced his wife. Now in some regards I believe that he is really comfortable offering that role up because it serves him well, it is his emotional back up to excuse his bad behaviour. Do I believe he really is a victim - no - I would say that when he can not get his own way he brings out this aspect of himself to force others into behaviours that suit him well.
   What in my mind separates his behaviour to other victims is that he is well aware of what he is doing and why and so manipulates others with his actions; taking him into the role of victorizer. I think there are two main areas of the victim; the first are the newbie, who has yet dealt with the why/how or what but has a window of opportunity to deal and cross over into survivor and victor. The second is the "professional victim" the person who does not want to deal or use any tools to become stronger, they find a purpose in holding onto why they are the victim and often manipulate others to feel sorry for them.
   Harsh/judgemental- I will hold my hand up high to both those thoughts. I really,really get tired of the victim game played. Is it not one of our roles in this life to grow and become better and stronger. Are we not taught to forgive and move forward. It is not only individuals who perform the roles of victim and victor, so do countries,religions and organizations.
  If we are to grow and change we have to take of our blinders and look at the real in reality. To create healing we have to stop being the victim and assume our personal control and rise up as our own Phoenix and burn away the layers of illusion and become the strength and victor in our own growth as a person/country and universe.
  Just my thoughts, shared because I do care!


Blessings Be
Debra Rae