Children

I consider myself to be so lucky in many areas of my life; but I am blessed many times over with my kids. They are all adults now and are all leading proactive lives, in great relationships and making a positive statement in their worlds plus they phone their mother because they want to! And I like them as people.
I look back at the time and energy that both my husband and I put into raising our kids and see the rewards for the considerable effort and expense and doing without that was our reality. We where firm believers in being around and there to raise our kids, we both took jobs that did not necessarily reward our bottom line but gave us time with our family. I remember that we where often in the few parents category that drove our kids and other kids to games and we where in the few that where the cheering club section.
That was a choice we made as parents, that if one could not be there the other one would be. I do not believe our kids suffered- so at times they could not have the best of the current shoe or clothing But they never missed out and certainly learnt money is earned and not a magical thing that just appears and sales are our friends. But our house was the meeting ground and feeding ground lol for most of there friends and life was not boring. I am a rule person and have stood my ground and had face to face fights with all my kids, I feel anything worth doing is worth doing well and the energy required to stand my ground has paid off as I see the adults they have become.
Love and hugs and kisses were also standard fare as well and still are. I believe teaching kids that there are non-sexual touches in hugs and kisses is extremely important. My degree was as a MotherCraft Nurse and I learnt and dealt with children from birth to 6 in many settings and have dealt with both failure to thrive through non touch to sexual abused and physical/emotional abused children - all need healing touch and positive role modelling that display this. I stopped teaching pre-school when the government decided that touch of any type was not permitted - and I look at a lot of the current issues society is facing and the school system has to handle and I am not surprised. We have boundaries that we should not have in some areas and no boundaries in areas we should have. In strong language we are fucking up big time. We need to reassess our core beliefs around the family unit and bring back some basic values and stick to them -please- because otherwise we as a society is heading for big trouble.
My thought is if you do not want to have to committee for at least 18 years and put yourself at the back of your life for periods of time and do what is needed to be their for your children, do not have them, or put off having them until they can be a priority. Kids are not a accessory or a narcissistic reflection of you and your partner or a means to a end. We as a society need to grow up and stop our selfish self indulges mentality and place a value on kids and family once again.
   Now to all of those who do and do and try their best in raising their families in harsh conditions all my blessing and thoughts are with you - keep it up and hopefully you will have the time to look back and see your sacrifices are worth it. The continued love and respect of your adult children and the possibilities of grandchildren makes it well worth while.
 I do think that we as a whole society should be there as a helping hand- I just do not know what that should look like in the current environment we live in. But I do know, as my parents and their parents knew, kids are our futures and the worlds future, so we need to do the best job we are capable of to see that they have the love and the tools to be great adults.


Just a thought and a verbal tribute to my great kids Jordana,Jared and Rebekka

Debra Rae