Being Me

I find that there are many blessings to being in your fifties. For me it was the return of my Australian-ism's. After spending almost half my adult life in Canada where I had to modify my outspoken bluntness because it was viewed as rude or offensive and my affectionate nature (love to hug and touch people) which was perceived as being sexual or again offensive; it was a relief to wake up one morning and have the realisation that "Life is to short to be who you are not". I am proudly Australian as well as a Canadian through choice, but I was choosing to be only Canadian because it was the easier of things to do to 'fit in'. How I dislike that term! Do not say this or that do not be this or that. I actually find it funny that most new immigrants are encouraged to keep their heritage in this the country of integrations, but those of us who are white and English speaking are not given that same privilege. Now I know in someway, someone will take that as me being racist. I say to you this is HOW I FOUND IT TO BE, this is my REALITY
and quite frankly I am F***ing tired of being told what and how to say what is on my mind because someone else may be offended. WHAT ABOUT ME! Am I not entitled as it seems everyone else of other origin is to have my heritage and  feelings honored.
When I turned 50, I also re-connected with myself. Spiritual, physically and emotionally. I came to the realisation that I am entitled to be ME. Good, bad or ugly. It is ironic that Canada achieved what my parents could not, the ability to silence me in a lot of ways. No longer and no more is my motto now. I am who I am, whether you like it or not really does not concern me anymore because having my voice and speaking my truth is a really important part of who I am. Allowing myself to be open and affectionate is also who I am. I now do not allow the judgement holders the ability to control me any longer. I am lucky that I now am in the position that I do not need the approval of a employer or any other system to tell me how or who I should be. Amazing the cycle's we can repeat without us realising it. I spent a lot of time us a child fighting for my voice and my nature and then moved to another country and culture that did just that stopped both in such a insidious way that I did not even realise how much it had happened until I went back to Australia after 13 years of being away. I was so polite in comparison to every one else, so worried about offending with a blunt or truthful statement. But at the same time I realised I had lost that sense of freedom and joy of just being honest and being me. Now please, I am not being a downer on Canada, I love this country it is an amazing place. This is about the power of being a new-be  and trying to fit in, by not placing enough importance on being You. My fifties are my rediscovery times, the relief of being me times, the who cares what others thinks time, my get of the pot and be and do times. My realisation that most likely half my life is over, so what am I waiting for, who am I waiting for. Embracing who you are with an open heart and mind is so freeing I have to wonder why I allowed myself to be side tracked away from what my much younger self fought for. Maybe it was so that when I came full circle I would do so with maturity to appreciate those aspects of myself, to not take them for granted and to except it is finally great to be ME.
Take a moment and ask yourself, "Am I being me. Am I holding back and if so why" and if you are please do yourself a favour and release the leash and embrace you. You are a beautiful reflection of the creator, foibles and all.


Just a thought
Love and light
Debra Rae

Gratefulness

G is for generating the energy
R is for being real and allowing false thoughts to be released
A is for your actions that speak louder than words
T is for tenderness as you go forth into your day
E is for your excitement of living life well
F is for faith that adds dimensions
U is for unity of mind/body and soul
L is for love, for yourself and others
N is for being a nurturer of ideas and hope
E is for enjoyment of living a life with joy
S is for Self and understand your role
S is for success and understanding gratitude

Step into your day with gratefulness in your heart and mind and you will find that the little things that use to plague you are no longer present and that joy and laughter and love will be there too guide you more readily. Take a positive step and write or think of all the things that you are grateful for every day; the list needs not to be long but needs to be real.

Namaste
Love and Light
Debra Rae

Positive verses negative messaging

I wish that the general media would broadcast more 'feel good' stories, because I know that there are legions of people in this vast world of ours who are making a difference. I know that as I write, some body out there is offering a helping hand, giving to a charity, working with the many organizations and groups we have or just helping a family member or friend. I choose to believe that given the choice, most people would step up and aide their fellow man.
Now you would not know that from the media reports that supply us information 24/7. All we see is the bad and the ugly, with a occasional celeb story thrown in for relief or the latest Internet craze. It is no wonder many are feeling hopeless and over whelmed, with a sense that this world we live in is on a path to destruction. Wars and domestic upheaval with a dash of economic doom and toss that with a taste of climatic disaster's and what are we left with? a feeling of hopelessness.
I am a cynic in many ways, as it is my belief that we are feed this continual feeding of negativity so that we (the people) either just except it or we feel exhausted and depressed and do nothing to create change. We do not question the sources of this information and then we are happy with a small tidbit of good news given by the governments. Baa, baa. We are becoming sheep, with a hook leading us around; all for our own good of course!
With most of the world being hooked up with technology and information, like we have never seen in the past, what a powerful tool. I would like us the people to use those tools to limit the negative and focus on the positive. Unfortunately most of us focus on the bad or we just switch of and isolate ourselves either physically or mentally.
I believe we need to become our own advocates and limit the amounts of pre-package biased based information we absorb. We need for our own self survival to focus our intentions on a positive belief system; I am not saying put your head in the sand and not be informed. I am saying be selective and know the info source you are tuning into, know who owns them and what their affiliations are, because that effects the info being supplied.
Become focused on self empowerment and lose the sheep mentality.
What we put out, will be our primary focus point, so why choose to focus only on the bad and ugly. The choice is yours, all I ask if that you at least think about it.

Namaste
Debra Rae

Remembrance

Yesterday was Remembrance Day and I shed tears as normal when I watched the stories of young lives lost in service, so that we can have our freedom. It was refreshing to see that the young generation was present in numbers. I sometimes wonder whether the concept of individual freedom is some think thought about today, especially in a country like Canada were only around 60% of the population that can vote actually bother to do so.
  It seems to me that there is a lack of connection  felt, between our armed forces that fight aboard now days and the concept that this is providing us with personal freedom in Canada. Apathy is alive and well! It is not just a fluke that countries like Canada, USA, Australia, New Zealand and England have never had battles for freedom against other countries on their own soils. Those who stand tall and proud in the face of tyrants with the blood of their own are sending out a powerful message of Freedom and Hope.
  Today as I view all of those who are fighting aboard and coming back with scars both visible and internal, I do wonder whether they feel that they are fighting for freedom and hope. I do not know the stats for the Canadian Forces that return to private life's and do not find support for their injuries but I believe it is on the high side. I have seen enough reports out of the USA that places as high as 60% of returning soldiers being homeless and unemployed with no resources to help them with any problems from being of service. Shame on those in power that allow this to happen. What message are we sending out their: fight, give your life and sanity but tough.
   I watch the politicians and visible rich and arrogant who stand for these freedoms but only if it lines there own pockets and think to myself :"has it always been this way". Personal rewards to a few at the cost of thousands who die! Is it needed or is it a power play on a Nation level with the young and poor being the pawns. Is this why our men, women and children  have given their life's for?
  I watch the group's out there bandy around many reasons why/not we should send in our forces to other countries and I wonder what are their intentions? Are they really stating opinions with the regard to freedom being at the forefront or do they have their own addenda's?
  My belief is that we need to provide those who are willing to give their life's for us to have the freedom to have choice.  Then we should be less passive and more pro-active in what our government and those in power are allowed to do. Those of us who bask in the freedom provided by the loss of others should do more than give a minute of silence once a year. Whether we lobby for our service men and women or volunteer at a center or Vote; It does not matter the what, it is being engaged and pro-active that does.

 To all that have given of themselves so that I may sit here and write the above, my thanks is not enough But I give it anyway as it is something, and given with respect and honor. I salute you.


Just a thought
Blessings Be
Debra rae
 

Help is this the new world for our kids

I find it unsettling that parents of young children seem to view their offspring as small adults or equals. Have I missed out on that memo? the one that states that your children can participate in adult decision making or better yet make the rules that govern both them and others around them. I mean it is not like young children have underdeveloped brains or emotions and actually need to be taught. I find it incredible that people learn more about raising a pet that they do to raising a child. There seems to be a lacking of any common sense bustling around, it takes more than food and shelter too bringing up a child.
The concept of applying boundaries, having rules and actually being a disciplinarian - heavens above- that means you have to be present constantly in your child's life- now that does not seem to be something many parents at this time seem capable of. Harsh, yes, but that is how I am seeing it. We are in a time where children are being handed pills for ADD and Autism is at the highest level in our history, and behavioural problems are through the roof. I do not believe that parenting issues are the route of all of the problems we are seeing BUT I do believe it is a participant.
I am trained in Early Childhood development and also have been educated as a councillor on top I am a mother and so I do no from experience what I am talking about around bringing up children. It seems that kids are being allowed to self regulate their behaviours and their diets and that boundaries are not present. Parents are busy I get that, I was and so was my husband But you have to make your child a priority. That at times means having and sticking to rules and having expectations that your child will listen and do what you ask of them.

   Now I no you are thinking I am down of parents - you would be wrong- I am down on the system that we are living our lives to. We are forced because of the economy to have to have both parents in the workforce often working more than one job. Food, gas, cars and shelter currently cost more than ever before and most people are considered to be in the working poor or a couple of pay cheques away from the streets. For alot of people family support is either not there or too far away to be of benefit. Child care is marginal in most countries in the fact that it is usually a baby sister who places the child in front of a T.V. or computer or a under paid over worked trained care provider who is tired. Values and discipline are deemed old fashion or abuse. The irony of that is that child porn and sexual abuse is on the rise and parents who care and set boundaries are often judged and ridiculed today as bad parents.
  What I want to know is when did we vote in the government to be the provider of how we bring up our children. Really the schools are a mess. the government is not working properly and the child protective services are a laugh. Now if they the government wanted to tell big business to stop poisoning our children and us by putting who knows what in our foods then great. If they wanted to enforce strong sentencing against those who have put the family of today in a financial nightmare, I am all for it. But I am a dreamer.
  Parents today in alot of ways are blind. They have no idea on how to raise a child because they where never taught, either because of lack of parents or because of the break down in the family unit and the failure of society as a whole to fill the void. Why are their not common sense parenting classes provided free to anyone having a child, why is not the reality of having a baby taught in every class in high school. Why is not free child care provided and good wages given so that parents do not have to work many jobs for the basics needed. Why do we not have loving proactive non judgmental but FIRM rules out there that make sense and allow children the freedom of being a child with no real worries and understanding that rules are their for their safety and that teachers and parents and adults that give respect earn respect back. That it is OK for them-the child-to push the boundaries and rules but no is no for a good reason and their are real consequences to not listening and doing.
  We - society- need to rethink, re look and redo this current system because in most cases it is not working and we are letting a overindulged,under disciplined and selfish generation full of prescribed drugs and behaviours lose- not a great picture but one that we can change if we care to.

Children

I consider myself to be so lucky in many areas of my life; but I am blessed many times over with my kids. They are all adults now and are all leading proactive lives, in great relationships and making a positive statement in their worlds plus they phone their mother because they want to! And I like them as people.
I look back at the time and energy that both my husband and I put into raising our kids and see the rewards for the considerable effort and expense and doing without that was our reality. We where firm believers in being around and there to raise our kids, we both took jobs that did not necessarily reward our bottom line but gave us time with our family. I remember that we where often in the few parents category that drove our kids and other kids to games and we where in the few that where the cheering club section.
That was a choice we made as parents, that if one could not be there the other one would be. I do not believe our kids suffered- so at times they could not have the best of the current shoe or clothing But they never missed out and certainly learnt money is earned and not a magical thing that just appears and sales are our friends. But our house was the meeting ground and feeding ground lol for most of there friends and life was not boring. I am a rule person and have stood my ground and had face to face fights with all my kids, I feel anything worth doing is worth doing well and the energy required to stand my ground has paid off as I see the adults they have become.
Love and hugs and kisses were also standard fare as well and still are. I believe teaching kids that there are non-sexual touches in hugs and kisses is extremely important. My degree was as a MotherCraft Nurse and I learnt and dealt with children from birth to 6 in many settings and have dealt with both failure to thrive through non touch to sexual abused and physical/emotional abused children - all need healing touch and positive role modelling that display this. I stopped teaching pre-school when the government decided that touch of any type was not permitted - and I look at a lot of the current issues society is facing and the school system has to handle and I am not surprised. We have boundaries that we should not have in some areas and no boundaries in areas we should have. In strong language we are fucking up big time. We need to reassess our core beliefs around the family unit and bring back some basic values and stick to them -please- because otherwise we as a society is heading for big trouble.
My thought is if you do not want to have to committee for at least 18 years and put yourself at the back of your life for periods of time and do what is needed to be their for your children, do not have them, or put off having them until they can be a priority. Kids are not a accessory or a narcissistic reflection of you and your partner or a means to a end. We as a society need to grow up and stop our selfish self indulges mentality and place a value on kids and family once again.
   Now to all of those who do and do and try their best in raising their families in harsh conditions all my blessing and thoughts are with you - keep it up and hopefully you will have the time to look back and see your sacrifices are worth it. The continued love and respect of your adult children and the possibilities of grandchildren makes it well worth while.
 I do think that we as a whole society should be there as a helping hand- I just do not know what that should look like in the current environment we live in. But I do know, as my parents and their parents knew, kids are our futures and the worlds future, so we need to do the best job we are capable of to see that they have the love and the tools to be great adults.


Just a thought and a verbal tribute to my great kids Jordana,Jared and Rebekka

Debra Rae

Dream Please

Where are you in your life? Are you doing or being who you thought you would be? or have you set aside your dreams and hopes for a day to day reality that if you stopped to look at fully, you would be amazed that THIS is your life. For most of us we have a general idea of what we want in our life's - this is normally thought about as a teen with big ideas and dreams and within our twenties we spend energy creating that picture; then as time and relationships and family and life happens those dreams are often forgotten or laid aside because of our responsibilities. Very few of us live out our potentials - this is a fact not a judgement.We get caught up in our jobs,families ect and to a degree that is how it should be BUT we need to remember to take time to allow our self to DREAM. To get out of our self imposed ruts and lift ourselves up. We may not have the time or resources to fully realise our dreams BUT we can choose to keep believing in them and to take some portions of them and apply them now.
We also have to keep practicing the idea of dreaming and of believing in ourselves so we can create aspects of that as we age. We need to have things to look forward to as we age, it may not be the dream of  our youth but it will be an aspect of it.
Dream big and then you will never be dissappointed because in reality you will achieve parts or a better version of that dream.
Dreams cost you nothing but not dreaming does, it leads to bitterness and malcontentment. Give yourself permission to create and make your dreams come true.

Just a thought
Debra Rae